Tom: Em
Em B C D Em B C D
I linger and gawp when the council dig a big hole
Em B C D Em B C D
And I cheer for a corner – I don’t know why, they rarely lead to a goal.
G D Am C G D Am C
The greatest surface underfoot is springy turf
Em B C D Em B C D
Why does the winner of Mr Universe always come from Earth?
G D Am C G D Am C
I feel I should be more upset since you went to live in Delph
G D Am C Em A D Em B C D Em B C D
I should be writing songs about you but I’m too wrapped up in myself.
Em B C D Em B C D
At DFS a job I have landed but I don’t get paid for the first five years
Em B C D Em B C D
TNS in The Blob mob-handed according to what one hears.
G D Am C G D Am C
Outlandish rumour is my sport oyez, oyez
Em B C D
I’ve just seen Venglos in Rock Ferry buying energy drinks
Em B C D
He’s deffo taking over.
G D Am C G D Am C
God knows I’ve tried to put you into verse but unfortunately
G D Am C Em A D Em B C D (x4)
When it comes to things such as this it’s all me, me, me.
G D Am C G D Am C G
You’re so beige – I bet you think this song’s about someone else
D Am C G D Am C G D Am C
Standard Liege – see how it all unfolds when I try to include you?
G D Am C G
I’ll fit you in some day, somehow
D Am C G
A thousand words but not right now
D Am C G
I’ve got a few lines on Gerry Gow
D Am C G
I had three in one packet in Seventy-Eight
D Am C G
I went back to the shop in a manner irate
D Am C G
Newsagent said “Have you got a two pence piece?”
D Am C G D Am C G D Am C G D Am C
I said “Yes”, he said “Go and ring someone who cares”.
F C
As told to a boil on the cab driver’s neck
F C Em B C D Em B C D Em B C D Em
As told to a boil on the cab driver’s neck again.
