Tom: Em
G
[Verse]
G
I was wallowing in squalor when a note came through the mail
C G
From a light-fingered acquaintance who'd been lingering in jail
C G
He had served a year of sentence when the fools had set him free
D G
And he'd had a good idea he said he'd like to put to me
[Verse]
G
I said come on then, let's have it, there's a twinkle in his eye
C G
He says let me put it this way, have you ever wondered why
C G
The rich have so much money when, if push should come to crunch
D G
You can only be in one room and only eat one lunch
[Verse]
G
A cogent observation, but I didn't have the time
C G
I presumed this exposition must be leading to a crime
C G
He said wait a precious moment I am trying to set the scene
D G
If you liberate your mind my friend you'll soon see what I mean
[Verse]
Gm
He said have you ever wondered how a horse becomes a glue?
Cm Gm
Or how my uncle's pencil reached a garden in Peru?
Cm Gm
And have you tried valerian, the side-effects are strange
G D Gm
There is no such thing as accident, for everything's arranged
[Verse]
G
I said listen friend your time inside has clearly flipped your mind
C G
These are merely hypotheticals I haven't got the time
C G
If it's blackmailing on Snapchat or a hold-up count on me
D G
But this claptrap that you're spouting now just sounds like poetry
[Verse]
Gm
Do not be so narrow-minded, my erstwhile accomplice trilled
Cm Gm
I've had lots of time for poetry it's left me rather thrilled
Cm Gm
I've been reading the New York School: Frank O'Hara, Kenneth Koch
G D Gm
And they've given me more pleasure than a thousand dirty jokes
[Break]
G G
C G
C G
D G
[Verse]
Gm
Well he's published by Macmillan now, he got a big advance
Cm Gm
Which he spent on buying a farmhouse in a pleasant part of France
Cm Gm
His first book won a Pulitzer, he's up for a Nobel
G D Gm
They say you can't change human nature but he's doing rather well
[Outro]
G G
C G
C G
D G
