Tom: C
C                      F
Oh bloody hell Im over sixty
C                      G7
My pubic hair is going grey
C                              F
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
C                               C
I think it's G7downhill all the way
[Verse 2]
    G7                           C
Oh please don't dump me by the seaside
 F                      C          G7
Don't shout as if my  ears don't  work
C                      F
Never let me pee my  trousers
G7                            C
Don't let me dribble down my shirt
[Verse 3]
     C                               F
The hair that once flowed round my shoulders
 C                             G7
Is drifting off just like the tide
     C                          F
That thing that was my little parting
    G7                    C
Is now about four inches wide
[Verse 4]
 G7                            C
And  when you see me on the buses
     F            C         G7
Oh please don't offer me your seat
     C                            F
Or when you're crunching on those apples
F                     C
I'll be sucking boiled sweets
[Verse 5]
   C                           F
I can't play squash or go out  jogging
C                             G7
For  fear my heart is going to burst
   C                            F
I think that beds were made for sleeping
     G7                      C
And that's a whole lot bloody worse
[Verse 6]
  G7                          C
I think I'll stay at home this  evening
       F     C               G7
And watch what ever's on the  box
C                      F
I must buy some thermal knickers
   G7                     C
A night cap and some woolly socks
[Verse 7]
C                      F
Oh bloody hell Im over sixty
C                      G7
My pubic hair is going grey
C                              F
I can't cut the mustard like I used to
C                  G7          C
I think it's downhill all the way